Our lives are filled with ‘incidents’. Some stand out more than others. Some require a lot more time than others. Some require people, hundreds of people, and time, lots of time. Then there are incidents that bring delight, i.e. I can stand it anymore it is so great. Other incidents bring heartache and sorrow, sometimes to the hopelessness of ‘when will this stop’.

We experienced an ‘incident’ within the last week that has brought cause to reflect, great cause to seek a greater family bond, and yet a need to learn to let go. Years ago I heard said when Jesus told the disciples to come apart and rest awhile that He as Creator of these men and Himself living in the form of man knew that if we do not come apart and rest awhile we tend to just come apart. It is not a pleasant thought, but experientially I know it is true.

To the hundreds involved in our weekend incident I can not imagine that I could speak to everyone in a way to convey the thanks and appreciation so very much deserved. It is interesting how far we can reach in prayer. We only need to reach God. He alone can put the circumstances at the exact time they need to take place.

Each of us have incidents that we gladly tell. Then there are THOSE… we have a feeling that everyone will know and have THEIR THOUGHTS about the incident. I have learned that sometimes no matter the situation people will have their thougths and opinion and you know, while there is no need to broadcast that type of incident there is nothing harmful either, only in the minds and words of others.

As I had for a time as my status on Facebook,

Mercy – not getting what I deserve. Grace – getting what I don’t deserve. I am thankful and humbled that God is both merciful and gracious to me and has given both to my family.

That is what I would say in response to our family incident. May only God be glorified.

My family always said that I was a “stick in the mud.” To tell you the truth, I am not exactly sure how that analogy pans out; but we all know what is meant by it. Well, this time I was. I knew that the roads were going to be bad, so I decided that I would hit the roads early to avoid traffic, melting ice, and possible accidents. To test the ground a little bit, the Polish in me decided that our back yard was the best place to test (man! I’m a genius). Hannah requested that I turn the GPS on my phone so that she could tell where I was on my way to work. I had forgotten to turn my GPS on when an hour later Hannah texted me saying that she was disappointed that I had not turned on my GPS. I then turned on my GPS for her. She then sent me a text message asking where I was. I was still at home “testing” the traction of my tires on the ground. Needless to say, Hannah got really giddy and turned into a paparazzi in between her laughing and snide remarks. I finally got fed up and frustrated that I went inside to start working from home. I texted my boss and told him the situation. He said to come in whenever I could come safely. I went back a couple hours later to try to dig my car out of the mud. I was able to move the car, but I also got it further in the mud. With Hannah’s help this time, we were able to move the car to stable ground. This is where it sat till I got home that evening after deciding to take the other car to work. When I returned home, I tried one last time to try to get my car to the driveway. It took less than a minute to get it up there. It’s funny to look back, but it wasn’t so much then. Hannah and I have done several things the hard way in order to learn important lessons. This is just one more. As Hannah put it – we did not get to play in snow this year; we got to play in mother nature’s other beauty – mud (or clay).  Moral of the story is “never let Josh test the car out in the yard.”

Truly humbled,

Josh

PS – Not much has been happening on here for a while. I hope that everyone has not given up hope. I still enjoy family news and updates.

PS2 – Ricky and Karlyn will have to share with us how the conference went that they spoke at in MD. Karla might be able to be a guest writer and give us a sample of her trip to India (I haven’t asked her yet). Soon we will be having our Annual Income Tax Celebration Dinner. So, there is plenty to talk about. Love you all!

I am not sure if Andrea is going to say anything about this or not, but she got engaged! Way to go Cameron! Way to say yes, Andrea!

(My payments are coming in the mail, Cameron.)

Fun Times,

Josh

A familiar question, Are you moving? When are you moving? Whats going on?

Fair enough. We are still looking forward to moving to Wisconsin and we are right on schedule. I have been particularly challenged the last two nights driving home from work. On BBN’s Conference Pulpit Warren Wiersbe has been speaking on prayer. These are very applicable to us as we live on schedule. The first night (Tuesday) the emphasis was, Would you rather have an answer to your prayers? or Would you rather be an answer to another’s prayers? Then last night (Wednesday) was about James and John’s request (or their mother’s) of Jesus to sit on either side of him on his throne (they were still thinking of an earthly kingdom at that point in time). The prayer emphasis was, Is your character ready to handle the answer to your prayer? Are you capable to handle the answer for which you are praying? An illustration was, Would you hand over the keys to your automobile to your eight year old? The rhetorical answer is obviously, No, they are not capable of handling the answer to their request.

I cannot answer as to when we are moving because it is not my schedule. If the Lord will and we live we will. That is not my area of responsibility. We are only continuing in preparation. But God is too. And that brings the third question’s answer. We believe that God is continuing preparation in our lives that we too will be ready in character and capable of having the prayer of moving to Wisconsin and ministering there answered. What is going on? Well since my last post (after most of the sickness that swept through our family was over) many happenings happened (wasn’t that profound!). Let’s see, there was Ricky and Karlyn’s engagement (see the post, …white snow, red rose petals, and a diamond ring). Then not to be outdone Eunice had an automobile accident (hanging upside down in seatbelts isn’t bad, but having to cut your hair with a dull pocketknife because it is trapped under the roof of the car and you are smelling gas leaking takes all the joy out of it. Also, a couple weeks later Eunice became the grateful owner of a Camaro. (All on facebook. Eunice has set aside blogspot for now I guess.) But wait, Ricky and Josh are doing better at grilling out (the first time wasn’t so successful – ibid. fire, fire, fire…). So also is the praise of Andrea soon to be our third college graduate – May 10, 2008, 10:00 AM Northland Baptist Bible College, W10085 Pike Plains Rd, Dunbar, WI, 54119 (hint: Hope to see you there!!!)

So for now… continue in prayer, continue in service, but far above all, know God and love Him, first and foremost, the highlight of your day and your constant desire to Him and Him alone.

The face of Big Family In A Small House has been changing. It appears the changes are snowballing like a snowball rolling down hill in good packing snow. Within the last three weeks three of our four young adults in our family have moved into their own dwellings (no, not caves and teepees). Ricky and Josh have taken an apartment and Eunice has moved into a house with a friend, Johanna. Josh had been considering the move since this summer, but finally they all have moved out.

Their presence in our home well into their twenties (Ricky is 29, Eunice 27, and Josh 23) has been a blessing in many ways and will be missed. God’s work in Lois and my hearts over the last year and a half continues to pursue fruition. Prayer and fasting has been undertaken. Testing, studying, visiting, talking, and more prayer and fasting have been all part of seeking God’s direction. I am reminded of how a man’s heart deviseth his way: but the Lord directs his steps. (Proverbs 16:9) In this case the direction includes other major changes; moving from a city of thousands to a town of less than one thousand; leaving the southern United States where summer extends from March to November to where there are four distinct seasons that usually get equal time; and to go from a big family of eight living in a small house to a family of four living in a small house. God has blessed us with His building our family to eight over the last thirty years. In those thirty years we have lived in two different big country farm houses, a big log cabin, and several small houses. The most different was when we had no place to call home and were split up between two or three different families.

Being the head of this Big Family In A Small House has been a great blessing and a great challenge. With children moving out that responsibility changes and makes a huge step of growth. Many American families do not look at the presence of four adult children in the home favorably. Most don’t understand it. As best I can tell it is a western culture concept to encourage the children to leave ‘at the earliest convenience’ (and my question is, For whom?) All four of our adult children have been around the world, Ricky in Albania and Canada, Eunice two times to China and England once, Andrea to Albania and Mexico, and Josh to Nicaragua. In each of those countries except maybe in metro Canada and England the family lived in one house even with the children’s spouses and families. As I said, having them in the home has been a great challenge along with the blessings. (As I write this United States Eastern time has just passed into 2008.)

My challenge and responsibility to my children is that of greater importance. While our children were young I had the responsibility to oversee each step of their way, to guide them and correct them as I understood before God that I should. As they became teenagers (and still with Cherith and Jesse it remains so) I had to allow them the freedom to make mistakes as they learned to make decisions. To many Americans these are the trying years (I think maybe they view it that way because most American parents expect their children to leave after they graduate from high school or college). We have had the blessing of seeing them become young adults making their own decisions, greater decisions that hurt more when the wrong choice is made. But between being teenagers and young adults in their twenties a very hard part for parents is the children are learning things, some things the parents have never learned, especially when it comes to the Word of God and the truths of who God is and how we should walk before Him. It is sometimes akin to the young boy who told the whole city that the king is naked as told in The Emperor’s New Clothes. I as a parent may in my arrogance feel my authority is being challenged when my children bring the Word of God to me and tell me something new. Or perhaps I am told my position may be wrong. I may even resent the facts that are presented to me because, well, I graduated with one Bachelor’s Degree in Engineering and was close to graduating with a second Bachelor’s (in Pastoral Studies) before my health cut that short. Why, I have been your parent as long as you have been alive (doesn’t arrogance sometimes state the obvious). However, taken rightly these apparent afronts to my authority are really a chance to review and consider my own self. I have no need to make sure I am right and I win the position. That isn’t authority, at least not authority used rightly. I have areas in my life to which that at over 50 years old I am still pitifully blind. Some of my ways my children have brought to my attention I was completely wrong, and yet others I needed to see a more correct understanding than I had ever been taught in all my 50+ years. Our adult children have been to us like iron sharpens iron. Their friction wasn’t to dull my authority, but to sharpen it; to take areas that had never been sharp in the first place and make them useful as well.

God used His Word to cause me to reflect on the Big Family In A Small House now being no longer together and in a few short months hundreds of miles apart. II Timothy 1:11 – Whereunto I am appointed a preacher, and an apostle, and a teacher of the Gentiles. As the father of the Big Family In A Small House (BFIASH) I also have this appointment to them in particular. As a friend who continues to grow dear to me Pastor Tom Gaudet pointed out that of all the qualifications of a bishop (elder, pastor, shepherd – I Timothy 3:1-7) the very first is that of desire. A man must desire the office of a bishop. When I desired to marry my fiance who is now my wife, I was without thinking desiring to be the bishop of my family.

This leads further to I Peter 5:1-4 – the responsibilities of inner character. Verses 2 and 3 define that character of feeding the flock, taking oversight willingly, not because I have to, not for financial gain, but of a ready mind. Verse 3 is a key to this concept of authority issue I mentioned. The identifying trait is NOT as being a Lord over God’s heritage. Psalm 127:3 clearly identifies children as an heritage of the Lord. Ezekiel 34:1-16 spells out the characteristics of shepherds, of pastors who have embraced being a Lord over God’s heritage.

Peter may have considered as he wrote 1 Peter 5 the day on the shore as Jesus asked of the reality of Peter’s love. Being questioned three times each command Jesus Christ gave stepped up the responsibility. (John 21:15-22) The first was that of pasturing lambs (watching over to feed and grow), the second to shepherd the sheep (oversee the mature flock), and finally pasture the sheep (feed the mature with that which will fortify them and make them productive).

Now someone no doubt is questioning my thoughts on my adult children pointing out areas of inconsistency, areas of lack, or areas where I need correction or growth. The problem is not that they have observed it, nor that they point it out to me in my life. The major problems would be their approach and my receptiveness. This is true for any elder, pastor, or for any area of leadership for that matter. It all has a Scriptural approach as God has given. God has given us the ministry of reconciliation (II Corinthians 5:17-21). If I fail in that ministry as a husband and a father, what am I really to anyone else? It matters not if I have been offended (Matthew 18:15-20) or I have offended someone (Matthew 5:21-24), especially if they are of my own house. God commended Abraham in how he would lead his family when he as yet had not the son of promise. (Genesis 18:19) The question that is presented, what if the one who has a fault is the leader, the bishop, the elder, the pastor, the father? I Timothy 5:1 states the need to ‘rebuke (chastise with words) not an elder, but intreat (desire a hearing with) him as a father’. Further in I Timothy 5:19 the charge is to receive not against an elder an accusation, but before two or three witnesses. (Most people give up before getting this far thinking their only recourse is that of I Corithians 6:7,8. Unfortunately I must say I have fallen into this category not being correctly instructed in how to deal with leadership that uses authority improperly.) Care is required here as pointed out by example in Jude 9 and instruction in Galatians 6:1-5 (when restoring another considering our ownselves less we be tempted).

The concern is that of a child’s honoring a parent, the father, and obeying them also. I as father must make decisions, right decisions. I must stand by the truth’s wherein I stand. But if I am wrong I desire that my children will honor me by intreating me to see my wrong. That has been my greatest honor is when my children have sought out and learned the truths of God on their own and they are spiritual enough to intreat me to turn to right where I am wrong. They have obeyed God rather than me in that in which I am wrong. They have truly demonstrated their love for me as I had to so many times in their years of growing up.

This brings me to my greatest challenge. I will no longer have close by those for whom I have watched for their souls. And they, when I need it, will no longer be near me to honor me in such a way. They have seen me at my worst and have even been afraid. But when I listened, and asked forgiveness, and by God’s grace forsook it and repented, they were much better because I responded in the way God would have it. I love my children and want the best for them, especially to see a godly example for them.

The end result of all this will be that:

I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth. III John 3